Advent: Day Two

Psalm 119

"Oh, that my ways were steadfast in obeying your decrees!"

Smoke is the taste of my fingertips
as i lie under the duvet, and bite
the brittle nails. Scared as northern
fruit flies that circle my coffee,
dying in the sweetness that calls them,
i am certainly crying beneath
the sweet warmth of blessings disregarded
for the promise of temptation.

Confession then, i will drink my coffee
without sugar for several weeks.
At least until You come and answer me,
i will face my mornings cloaked in
black and bitterness. i have sinned,
i have hidden, and i have been cleaned.
What more shall be asked of me than
grimacing sorrow and humility?